Little Yellow Wand – Matt Stillert

24 May


Little Yellow Wand – Matt Stillert

This is my talented cousin. He’s making waves in the Adelaide roots music scene. This is his first video, and the launch of his debut EP Don’t Fear the Beard is coming up on June 22nd. One of the lovely things about moving back to Australia is going to be being able to enjoy these kinds of events. We arrive in Adelaide on the 13th June, and I’m so glad we’ll be in Adelaide for the launch. Matt and his mates have organised a massive event with ten original bands playing.

I can’t count the number of family milestones I have missed over the years. I’ve made it back for three weddings and a funeral (not kidding) but have missed the births of my brothers children and they have missed the births of mine. I haven’t been around when 2 close family members have battled cancer. I have been absent when family members could have done with help and support, meals and babysitters. And we’ve been far away from that same support when we’ve needed it too.

Anyway…as the days get closer to our departure, it’s such a nice feeling to know that we’ll actually be able to be around for things like this, and to celebrate the success of our own. It really is something to look forward to. And I need those things to anticipate to buoy me through the emotions of saying goodbye to this part of my life.

Check out the video. He’s pretty good.

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On Siblings

27 Feb

I listened to a great TED talk this morning called: The Hidden Power of Siblings by Jeffrey Kluger, who is a Science and Technology reporter for Time magazine. He has written a book called The Sibling Effect in which he draws upon his own family experiences to analyse sibling relationships and discusses how the sibling relationship is one of the most meaningful we may experience. I’d really like to read it.

My brother & I – approximately 1980 

“Our parents leave us too soon, and our spouses and children come too late, but only our siblings are with us for the entire ride.”

I have often thought how lucky I am to have a brother, and glad that we have become closer over the years. We used to fight something shocking as kids. (In his talk Kluger cites a study that showed that children aged 2-4 years will have a fight every 6.3 seconds). But as we’ve gotten older we have become friends and the shared experiences of our childhood means we have a knowing of each other and a bond that is unique.

And since becoming a mother, I’ve so enjoyed watching each of my children develop their own individual sibling relationships. Kluger speaks of these individual bond in families as dyads, each individual having a unique relationship with each other family member. This is why as families grow, the relational bonds get more complicated and dynamic. For example in our family, Doug and I have our own relationship (1), Doug has relationships with each of the four children (4 more) as do I (4 more). Now we’re up to 9. Then each of the children have a unique relationship with each other. That’s 6 more. So a total of 15 dyads in our family.

My children engage in their own fair share of fights, but I can see that they are also great mates. I spot them sticking up for each other, conspiring against Mum & Dad when they think things are unjust (and I reckon that’s entirely healthy even if they may be wrong), and laughing at their own inside jokes. This makes me very happy.

“Having siblings, and not making the most of those bonds is I believe, folly of the first order. If relationships are broken and fixable, fix them. If they work, make them even better. Failing to do so is a little like having a thousand acres of fertile farmland and never planting it. Yes, you can always get your food at the supermarket, but think what you’re allowing to lie fallow. Life is short, and it’s finite, and it plays for keeps. Siblings may be the among the richest harvests of the time we have here.”

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Library Days

24 Feb

I love our library visits. I love the way the children all disappear into their own book worlds as soon as we arrive. (Except Sam. He sat still with a book for a nanosecond and spent the rest of the visit tearing around and playing on the little kiddy slide thingy) The older three all take out armfuls of books which they read in the car on the way home, and the rest of the afternoon at home is usually very quiet.

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I haven’t been reading much lately…too much else going on with getting the house painted and getting rid of stuff, and packing boxes ready for our move. It’s still looking like a few months away, and has taken longer than we initially thought, but there is no particular hurry…apart from my own impatience.

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Warning: Malfunction

24 Feb

I had one of those moments this morning where one small event leads to another and then another and then another.

It all started to unravel while I was in the shower when Samuel (2) hit Ryan (nearly 5) on the head with a broom handle. There was a loud protest but no tears so it wasn’t very hard.  I think it was an accident but I can’t be sure. Emma (9) came to the rescue with a bag of frozen peas to ice the sore head. I was receiving regular updates through the bathroom door, and I was dutifully shouting instructions back at them like this “LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE! For goodness SAKE!”

So when I was informed that “Sam is stealing the peas!” I shouted back “EMMA! PUT THE PEAS BACK IN THE FREEZER!”

Apparently he got them back out because after my shower I found a kilogram of peas now defrosted and tipped all over the lounge floor, quite evenly spread from one room to the next. They were too soggy to vacuum, so I swept them into a pile. This is some of them:

While this was happening I asked Ryan to get the vacuum cleaner, and he had trouble plugging it in. Ben (7) came to his aid but not before accidentally leaning on the book shelf and tipping it resulting in this:

So when I heard a glass smash on the drive way  just a few moments later, I kind of flipped out.

Because there was a barefoot two year old to consider, I stopped cleaning up the peas to get to the glass, all the while letting rip with sighs, and groans, and the ranting began. “You’ve got to be joking, this is Ridiculous! Just stop it! Stop making messes! All of you! How can you make so much mess in such a short time? I’m sick of cleaning up disasters around here. I just can’t believe you guys!”

Glass done and onto the peas: “I can’t believe this…why didn’t you guys stop him and take the peas away!What the heck is going on around here?” I was quite focussed on my little rant and cleaning up as fast as possible in case something else happened…but I gradually became aware than Emma had placed something down on the carpet and was slowly, with head down leaving the room. Backwards. Strange. Then I saw this:

 I was completely undone and the rant dissolved away into unbridled laughter. I love these kids who are so wise and funny and light hearted. They don’t take life too seriously. Who cares really about peas on the carpet!?

The pages came from this book called M.O.M.  - Mom Operating Manual by Doreen Cronin, that Emma has taken out from the library this week.

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Gaaaahhhhh!!

28 Oct

I know I’ve been AWOL, but maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to find partners for all these. Argh! Do they have any idea how infuriating this is for a person who likes things to match up?  You’ll notice that there are single socks for every member of the family except me. I honestly don’t know how this happens. What are they doing with their socks??????

Celebration Trees

17 Sep

What better way to celebrate our children’s New Zealand beginnings than to plant trees? I’ve said before than there is always something special about the place you were born. I wanted a special way to honour that, and create something lasting for the children to remember and hopefully visit again one day.

I came across Cue Haven on the internet, and after making contact, arranged a day to go up and plant some trees for the kids. What a fantastic day! Tom and Mahrukh are warm and hospitable people, and have such a great plan for their piece of land. You can read more about their project at their website. Basically they are restoring their land which has been used for grazing for over 100 years, back to native bush as it would have looked prior to being cleared for farming.

The boys each planted a Totora and Emma planted a Puriri.

Here are some pictures of our day.

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Boys vs Girls: Injuries

13 Sep

My youngest son ended up with a leg fracture the other day after falling from the top bunk. I got to thinking about the various accidents and injuries over the years we’ve been parents. Here’s the tally.

GIRL INJURIES:

  • Baby tooth extracted after accidentally twisting it out trying to open a bottle with her teeth.

BOY INJURIES: (not all the same boy)

  • Burn to hand placed directly on stove element requiring medical attention
  • Laceration to head requiring medical attention
  • Burn to hand placed directly on fireplace door
  • Near amputation of finger requiring surgery
  • Burn to hand placed directly on bbq
  • Baby tooth pulled out eating toffee apple
  • Black eye due to falling from bench
  • Laceration to head requiring stitches
  • Burn to back of legs standing too close to fireplace
  • Fractured leg after falling from bunk

Admittedly we have three boys and only one girl, but then she’s been here longer so that should even it out somewhat. This list doesn’t innumerable bumps and scrapes, but the boys are clear winners in those as well. Boys! My poor heart. There are still so many years ahead.

 

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The Books of My Childhood

8 Sep

Last night I was thinking about buying a gift for a friend’s young child, and I thought how I didn’t want to buy clothing or toys that might not last, but something more lasting. And I got to thinking about books and how they have such a lasting impact, planting the seeds of the earliest imaginations. I started thinking about which book every child should get to read…which made me drift back to my childhood…. and these are the books I read as a young child that I can still remember to this day.

A Fish Out of Water – Helen Palmer


This is the story of a little boy who gets a goldfish, and is warned by the pet shop man not to overfeed it. And true to human nature, the urge to test it out and see what happens is too great. Alas, the goldfish is over fed, and grows and grows, until as you can see by the picture, it out grows not only his bowl, but the bath and the entire house. Great rhyming story and illustrations that capture the imagination. It struck the fear of overfeeding gold fish into me, so I guess there was a lesson there too.

The Bunyip of Berkeley’s Creek – Jenny Wagner

A very sweet story of the mythological Australian Bunyip. Darkish illustrations both delighted and spooked me as a child. The bunyip emerges from the creek not knowing what he is or what he looks like. He proceeds to ask a platypus, a wallaby, an emu, and finally a man who answers by saying that bunyips simply don’t exist. Poor bunyip goes away sad lonely until another strange creature emerges from a nearby billabong.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar – Eric Carle

I defy you to show me a child who doesn’t poke their finger through the little holes in this book.

Mr Tickle – Roger Hargreaves

I particularly remember having this book read to me and the anticipation building page by page because I knew what was coming. If you weren’t careful reading this book, you might find Mr Tickle and his long arms reaching around the corner of the room you’re in right now and find yourself well and truly tickled!! I love how children ask to be tickled, then scream with laughter and beg you to stop. This book reminds me of that.

Possum Magic – Mem Fox

Another Australian classic. It has become a favourite of my children too. When I was about 10 my uncle took me to a reading of this book by the author Mem Fox, accompanied by the Australian Symphony Orchestra. She signed my book. I love the illustrations in this one, and have enjoyed other books illustrated by Julie Vivas as well.

In the Night Kitchen – Maurice Sendak

Perhaps not as well known as Where the Wild Things Are, this is still a great book. I still LOVE the illustrations! It’s about Mickey who is supposed to be going to sleep but finds himself floating into the ‘night kitchen’ where the bakers are busy baking the morning cake. He finds himself almost baked into a cake. They chant “Milk! Milk! Milk for the Morning Cake!” So Mickey flies in his dough plane right up to the Milky Way, dives into a milk bottle, swims back to the top and pours some milk down for the three fat bakers. The bakers rejoice and all is well. Thanks to Mickey there will be morning cake. Apparently this book was a bit scandalous at one stage because Mickey is naked. My 1980′s Australian primary school evidently didn’t have a problem with it.

There’s A Hippopotamus on Our Roof Eating Cake – Hazel Edwards


The hippopotamus gets to do all the things the little girl in this story wishes she could do. That is, take showers instead of baths, watch TV instead of going to bed and eating cake whenever she feels like it. I understand. I really do.

Has anyone else out there enjoyed these? What are you favourite books from childhood?

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Haka Chills

6 Sep

This happened at our local shopping mall just the other day. Flip, what a cool moment. Would have scared the crap out of me…

A facebook friend of mine who is a Kiwi living in Australia posted the other day her wonderings about whether her children growing up in Australia would get Haka chills or Waltzing Matilda chills. I ask myself the same thing…and actually hope it’s both. Although I have to say Waltzing Matilda doesn’t really do it for me. It’s just not in the same league as a Haka. (As cliched as it is, I do confess to singing Waltzing Matilda to travelling companions at the Taj Mahal though. We showed those Canadians a thing or two. )

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Preparing to move

4 Sep

It’s funny how when you start thinking about leaving a place, that suddenly you are acutely aware of all the things you will miss about it. I have to say that the upcoming move to Australia isn’t really about the grass being greener on the other side. In the literal sense, the grass is definitely greener on this side. Adelaide having a much lower rainfall, my memories of the grass there in the heat of summer is patchy brown dusty tufts, the earth being so hard and dry that sometimes the water would run right over it. And in the metaphorical sense too in many ways, there are things here that I love and will miss dearly, and I will think of as the greener pastures.

As I drove to work last night, I couldn’t help but smile (and laugh actually) at the cars jammed full of proud Tongans and Samoans, furiously waving their nations flags and tooting their horns in their excitement about the Rugby World Cup. Living and working in South Auckland has exposed me to the Pacific Islander population and I know I will miss them. I love to see their strong sense of family as they gather around their sick relative in the hospital, many families holding vigil by the bedside for the duration of their stay. They attend to all the personal needs of the patient themselves, bring in their favourite foods and eat together in large groups. I always enjoy when they sing, play ukulele and pray together. A beautiful splash larger than life colour. I have learned things from them. Somehow the thought of being surrounded by mostly Caucasian people seems rather insipid. (No offense intended to all us whites…but we really do lack colour in more ways than one). I think on arrival in Adelaide I will have to seek out some diverse populations and plonk myself down in the middle of them.

When I first moved to New Zealand I was such a proud Australian that I felt a little sad that any children we had wouldn’t be Australian by birth. I got over myself though and now of course have four Kiwi kids. I could not be prouder that they are New Zealanders. One of the things that is hard about moving is that they are leaving the land of their birth. I am certain that there is always a connection between a person and the land they were born in, and there’s a sense of being uprooted when you leave. I know that they will want to come back one day. I hope they keep close ties with New Zealand as they grow up.  New Zealanders are some of the friendliest and most generous people I’ve met.

These are the thoughts on my mind as we go through our garage today and sort out our things into those we will keep and those we won’t. It feels good. It feels hard.

 

 

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