In our shadows

This evening in the light of the dining room shining into the darkenend lounge, B3 noticed his shadow.

“Look Mum, I’m making myself over there”

“Yes…look, there’s me. They’re our shadows.”

“Why are you so up there?”

“Because I’m taller than you”

“Because you’re six.”

I chuckled and kissed him, and thought of AA Milne’ s lovely verse:

        The End

        When I was One,

        I had just begun.

When I was Two,

        I was nearly new.

When I was Three,

        I was hardly Me.

When I was Four,

        I was not much more.

When I was Five,

        I was just alive.

But now I am Six, I’m as clever as clever.

        So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.

Alan Alexander Milne

Chocolate Slice

Check what we made! It looks good enough to eat but is in fact a scrummy home made Cocoa and Cinnamon and Honey cleansing bar. Well, soap, but cleansing bar sounds better.

The cinnamon gives it a slightly abrasive quality so it leaves the skin feeling smooth and scrubbed. I used it in the shower and it was lovely. I also have some for hands in the bathroom and it’s great for that too, although leaves quite visible chocolate coloured smudges on the white basin as I don’t use a soap tray. It’s a little soft, so next time I’ll make it a little harder if I can.

Bad me has lost the link to the recipe on someone’s blog so I can’t link to it until I find it again (if I can). The lady who had posted the recipe had made hers in muffin trays so they soaps looked like cupcakes. She also spread plain white soap over the top to make it look like icing. (I do have a copy if anyone wants it…)

The idea to make soap came about while trying to think of easy gifts I could make with the children could make for Christmas. This one was a nice idea, and is made from a commercial soap as a base which you grate and melt and then add ingredients just like you’re baking. So easy really and fun. I’m not sure I’m going to give this batch away as gifts because it’s a little soft but I think I’ll give it another try and see how it goes.

I nearly forgot. I love the whole idea of making soap! I think I’m going to give it a go making it from scratch like they did years ago. It’s will be cheaper, healthier and satisfying. Not to mention a useful skill. I’ll keep you posted.

edit: Found the link to the recipe.

For Mums on Monday

Life began with waking up and loving my mother’s face.
- – - – George Eliot

The case of the missing post

If you were here before and read a post that’s no longer here, it’s because it was supposed to be set as a Private post. I had originally set it to private and went back to edit it for spelling, and it apparently lost it’s private status. A mistake I’d rather not have made….talk about baring your soul Over The INTERNET! he he ….Oh, well never mind.

To the commenters; This is what I wrote in reply on that post which you now can’t see because it’s Private:

Eeeeek! Thanks so much guys….

Jen…not brave to share so much as distracted….it was supposed to be private, and I set it as private and then went back to edit spelling errors and must have forgotten to check. I might make it so now if I can because I’m not sure who’s reading this blog and don’t want to bring up stuff for other family members. 

Case closed.

What’s on my mind

I’m so very very tired. I had a disturbed sleep last night (again) with R8 months waking for his nightly fix, as well as B3 waking with a wet bed. Sigh…I’m so tired of being tired. I just can’t function, and we are so bored, but I just don’t have the energy to do anything.

I tried today. E5 is desperate to do ballet lessons and we’ve said she can start something in the new year, so today she asked me if we can start looking. I said yes, but the day went to custard so I should never have tried.

First I couldn’t find the yellow pages, so searched online instead. E5 sat with me and her girly chatter was so distracting I could hardly read the information. I found a few websites and contact details of local places, so started a spreadsheet of info on each one so I’d have a record of what each one offers when I get around to ringing them.

Then I accidentally deleted most of the phone numbers I’d recorded, so had to reload all the pages, during which time the computer decided to freeze. Aaaarrgggh.

After lunch the plan was to set off and visit one of the 6 places on the list to get a feel for the place, and get some information first hand. R8months refused to breast feed, and only ate a little food, but we set off. I knew the road, but didn’t remember seeing the dance studio before. After the 15 minute drive, we cruised up and down the street looking for number 250. Found 248, and next to it, where 250 was supposed to be…nothing. Well, not nothing, something. An empty shop face with workmen inside. Sigh. Home again.

E5 was so tearfully disappointed that she didn’t get to go inside a real ballet school, that I said we’d go home and get the address of the next place and try another. So, 15 minute drive back home. 15 minute drive to next place and we arrived to the correct street number to find the said school down a drive way lined with cars and only on teeny weeny place to park right out front of a panel beater or something and had I parked there no doubt I’d have blocked some customer Besides, I was in the van and didn’t think I could reverse parallel park in on the left hand side without considerable stress. The school itself was up a staircase on level two. The said staircase and closed door and panel beaters shop in eye view put me off taking all the kids in. Just cause I’m tired…..I’d didn’t want to:

1. Find a park on the street.

2. Unpack everyone

3. Walk past panel beaters shop with B3 cause he’d want to stop and look

4. Climb said staircase carrying R8 months and

5. Find no one there.

I considered just popping in by myself, but that would mean leaving everyone in their seats in the car and this would not do because:

1. It was flippin’ hot in the car with the a/c turned off and there was noway I’d leave the keys inside and

2. the nearest street parking was a fair way down the road and too far to leave the kids safely.

So with much grumbling about”….stupid stupid people who have a ballet school in some run down old building with no car parking…..”(Yes, that’s what I said in. Yes the kids heard me.) we went back home. Oh and now this makes me sick. I said to E5

“When I’m tired, please don’t ask me anything. You’ve pushed me too hard today and I should never have tried to do this. I’ll look for your ballet lessons when I’m ready. Please don’t keep asking me again.”

How could I make her feel like it was her fault! I’d said ‘yes’ for goodness sake and she was already feeling terribly disappointed. Poor kid. Me Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

On returning home I told the big ones to watch TV and R8months has since then refused to sleep. I dont’ want them watching TV, it’s just I dont’ even have the energy to talk to them. I know someone is thinking

“Don’t be so hard on yourself….you’ve just had a bad day and blah blah blah…”

“Yes, I know, but there are just too many bad days lately. I’m tired All the Time! They watch TV too much All the Time! “

I know the kinds of day I want to have with the children. I know all the things we’d love to do, but they require me having enough energy. And it’s not even high energy activities really. I can’t believe I’m going to home school them and I really hope I can sort this out soon (this tiredness I mean) becuase I’m starting to wonder if I’ll cope and yet, it’s what I really want to do!

For Mums on Monday

Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is by far the most rewarding thing of course, but it’s often a thankless task and one for which I need constant encouragement. I have decided to celebrate all that is being a Mother and will dedicate a weekly post to Motherhood! It may be humour, inspiration, encouragement, whatever!

So here’s some light relief for Mum’s on Monday.

(Thanks Tam for this link)

And Fun was Had by All

In the interests of remembering a wonderful day, here are some photo’s of the Birthday Party! E is now 5 and B is now 3……so from here on in, it’s E5 and B3!

For me the stress of the upcoming event began early in the week, but peaked on Saturday at 4pm when I realised I was still dawdling around the shopping centre getting things for the cakes and food for the party itself.(Which was on Sunday afternoon) I arrived home to find the neighbourhood kids at our house, D and R7months on the deck (R with a dirty nappy) the house a mess, the lawn not mowed and I started to frazzle. Of course, it was all alright on the night (well, day) and although there were things I’d have liked to have done, it was still a cool party. The kids had lollies, chips and cheerios with tomato sauce, as well as balloons and cake and friends. What more do you need for a rockin’ party!

I was up to the wee hours creating these:

Which I have so say are my best cakes EVER~ I was so happy with them. (Go on, click on the Flickr link in the sidebar for the bigger images…you know you want to!) OK, so I’ve made the train cake before because B3 (then B2) wanted it last year as well…but still, the castle was a first. The flippin’ egg white frosting was a pain though….had to throw out one whole batch cause I burned the sugar syrup… Nevertheless, the kids were duly impressed and I enjoyed the accolades of my friends who took a bit of convincing that I didn’t buy them! Ok, brag over.

Here’s some of my favourite shots of the day:

And check these sweet smiles while they were being sung to in turn. (B3 complete with sauce on his cheeks.)

 

This is such a boring post.

I haven’t updated this blog for ages. Well, the last post wasn’t ages ago, but can’t really be considered a proper post because it wasn’t about me. And we all know that this blog is all about me. It’s about me because it’s for me. Why it’s posted on the internet for everyone to read I have no idea, but it is much more fun this way.

The reason I haven’t written a really good egocentric post in a while is because I have nothing to write about. That should probably concern me. Am I really that boring? Empty? Shallow? I think not. I’m sure there are plenty of things I could write about but I’m just not inspired. 

So this post is about what to do when you have a bloggers block. (I’d say writers block as it is more commonly known but I don’t consider myself to be a writer. I know I write, but I don’t write.)

The first thing to do is to actually open the New Post page instead of just staring at the stats page and watching your page view dwindle daily.

Next, (after placing your fingers on the keyboard) is to start writing. Just whatever conversation you are having with your self inside your head.  Keep writing even if it’s just drivel like this because you will more than likely delete it once your inspiration comes, and the post slowly morphs in to something vaguely interesting to read. If it ends up being drivel from beginning to end it doesn’t matter because this blog is for ME.

I think part of my problem is that I have been spending far too much time on the internet  poking people on Facebook and other equally ridiculous time wasting activities.  (You know  I even found a website dedicated to the correct spelling of ridiculous.) This is without a doubt stifling my creativity. And severely limiting blogging time. And do you know what else? No? Well I’ll tell you. Since I started using bloglines, I have largely stopped commenting on other peoples blogs. Thats because I read the blog in the feed, and don’t bother to click to the site. I know it’s a shame…I know I’m lazy. I often think of something to add in a comment but because I have to click to the site, then click the post and then comment, I don’t. OK so sorry to you all whose blogs I haven’t been commenting on. I’ve still been reading and loving what you all have to say.

Oh, and another reason I haven’t been blogging is because I have so many to do lists outstanding. I haven’t actually been doing the to do lists. Just being paralysed by the outstanding issues. You see I was raised to work first play later. Growing up we had to do our jobs before we were allowed to go out or play or whatever. It’s only recently that I’ve realised that I still have this notion  in my head. So if I’ve got work to do, I feel guilty if I’m doing something else. Never mind that there is always something to be done. My inner self tells me that ideally all the work should be done before I relax. Therein lies my problem. It’s impossible.

Take yesterday for example. In the morning I cleaned floors, vacuumed, tidied toys, cleaned shower, toilet etc. and did multiple loads of washing. My hope being that I would work in the morning and have the late afternoon evening to do something I wanted to do.  However, by evening the house looked worse that when I’d started. So instead of sitting down with a good book in my tidy lounge (which was so NOT tidy) I felt overwhelmed by the piles of washing to be folded. I was so fed up with it, I went outside to watch fireworks and did my best to ignore it. I neither worked nor relaxed. Just stalled.

I’m starting to understand that there will always be work outstanding and I just need to learn to get on with life despite it. I’ll never finish, so maybe I’ll take the play first, work later and then only do what you have to approach.

Gosh if you’re still here reading this I salute you. I’m boring myself here! Now might be the time to admit defeat and concede that this is drivel from beginning to end. Tomorrow we will see if the bloggers block is unblocked.

Over and out.

PS: Did my overuse of italics bother anyone?

Dizzy?

OK, so this is a pointless post really, but I just wanted to share with you what I have been staring at for the last half an hour. I got the link from Chocolachile.

It’s one of those left or right brain images thingy’s but this one is a moving image. Some of the comments below the test shed some more light on things if you don’t get it.

I can now make it change at will from one way to the other after some practise. Interestingly E4 came in and I asked her which way the lady was spinning…she showed me with her hands – clockwise. But then a few seconds later she looked puzzled and said “look Mum, she’s going the other way now”…

So, what do you see?