My friend is moving away

I have a dear friend who is moving away to India with her husband and 6 children. They live fairly close to us and are also homeschooling. My children have become friends with their youngest and love to play together. As we don’t have family in this country I feel like they have become cousins.

I am so excited for them as they go to India because it’s something that’s been on their hearts for years and I know that it’s going to be amazing as they go and live the lives God has for them, but at the same time I’m feeling so sad. They have been such good friends to us. So kind and generous and have helped us with our marriage and parenting and I feel kind of mad at God for taking them away. I want to be selfish and have a nice cosy life with my friends around the corner!

I know our kids are going to miss them so much too, and I’m already anticipating a big hole in our lives. I hope they can understand the bigger picture when it’s time to say goodbye and that knowing why they are leaving will help them adjust.

It is such a mixture of emotion because ever since my teens I kind of knew this kind of thing would happen. I have always felt passionate about the nations in the sense that I believe the Gospel is for every nation and over the past 15 years or more I have felt a growing compassion for the poor in other nations and also a dissatisfaction with first world suburbia. I remember growing up that I freaked out at the thought of settling down close to the family home and just having a house and a couple of kids. D and I started our own marriage and family by moving far away from both our families. (Not for the purpose of moving away from our families, which has been incredibly painful and hard, but because there was more for us in this big wide world than our local towns)  I knew that if I let this grow in my heart it would mean painful goodbyes and also, it has become natural that my closest friends also have a heart to go someday.

But it still sucks.

They are listing their home for sale today in anticipation of the big move and it’s really hitting home the reality that they are actually going. If I’m feeling emotional about it I daresay they feel like their hearts are tearing in two. I’m not looking forward to the day we do the same but at the same time part of me cannot wait! What a crazy conflict.

Secretly (and now in the most public of forums – on the internet hehehe) I hope that we will meet up with them again somewhere, somehow. I feel like it’s been a God given friendship and we are like minded in so many ways. We both have a heart for the motherless children and ….well who knows? I don’t know…I wish I did.

They have an amazing story actually of how it is all falling into place as they get ready to leave. You can read about it all on Jodi’s blog called Yatra to India. I recommend going back to the first posts as she shares how God has clearly spoken over the years. (Not in a ‘voices in my head‘ kinda way so don’t be freaked out.)

Favourite Things

I asked my kids some of their favourite things.

“Hey B3, what’s your favourite…?“

Colour? white

Food? noodles

Drink? Juice

Friend? E5

Toy? train set

Story? Thomas, Thomas and Thomas the train

Dad? Daddy

Mum? Erin

“Hey E5, what’s your favourite…?”

Colour? Rainbow

Food? Pizza

Drink? Coke

Friend? Caleb….and Corban, Annalyse and Katherine

Toy? fairies

Story? Princesses and Fairy Godmothers

Dad? Dad (giggle)

Mum? YOU!

Just a moment in time….love my kiddies.

Happy Birthday to me!

I am backdating this post so that it’s posted on my birthday. That way it won’t confuse me if I read this when I’m really really old.

I love how these hand made cards that come from three different countries all complement each other, and all have green! (Loving greens and pinks)

Of course we had cake and candles because it isn’t a birthday without those…

Some fresias from my garden as a present from me to myself just because, (I also bought myself some new knickers but you can’t have a photo of those!) along with daffodils from a friend.

D took me out for dinner to the Beach House. Our friend Zoe babysat the kiddies for us. Our dinner was lovely, and it was so nice to be together to eat and to have each others undivided attention. I couldn’t stop smiling when just as we sat down, one of my current favourite songs came on. It was Wonderful Remark by Van Morrison. Felt like a special present just for me.

My mother’s group friends sang happy birthday and surprised us with a cake too! I say ‘us’ because I share a birthday with a good friend so she and I were in it together. We’re celebrating her birthday at her place on Sunday.

So, that’s me at 32.

Couch Time

Some good friends of ours have 6 children. In my book that makes them experts in all things parenting. Well, ok …it’s their excellent parenting that makes them experts. The 6 children just makes them awesome, and the 6 children are awesome which adds credibility to the excellent parenting bit.

Anyway, one of the best pieces of advice they’ve offered us is a little tid bit called “Couch Time”. It simply means that when Dad comes home from work, Mum and Dad spend 15 minutes together on the couch having a catch up about the day or whatever. The kids are not allowed to interrupt unless there’s blood on the carpet. The point of it is two fold. Firstly that Mum and Dad get a catch up before the busyness of family dinners and bedtime routines take over, and secondly (and perhaps more importantly) the kids get to see Mum and Dad spending time together (which previously usually happened only after the children were in bed and of course they did not see).

It reminds them that the marriage is the most important relationship in the family….and in fact, that the marriage is the family to which the children have been welcome additions.

It reminds them that Mum and Dad love each other, are important to each other above anything or anyone else and that we’re not going anywhere.

It reminds them that they are not the centre of the universe or in charge of the family (which actually is a scary place to be when you are 3 or 5 or otherwise little and are still learning to be in control of yourself let alone the entire universe!)

It lets the children see some affection and conversation between Mum and Dad, and so models how grown ups appreciate and enjoy one another.

We have only just started to implement this every day, in the last week or so. So far we have noticed that E5 loves to sit near us and looks at us lovingly and approvingly as we chat together. One day she even ran to the microwave timer (which we had set for 15 minutes to help them understand the waiting bit) and reset it for 5 more minutes! B3 didn’t seem to interested either way and occupied himself with toys in his room or playing with his sister. However his bedtime routine later that evening was much smoother. And R1 (who I’d thought would clambour on to us for cuddles etc. ) played quietly with is toys nearby. When he’d approach to get our attention, D would gently push him away and tell him “not now..go and play”. He seemed to get it.

Although we started doing it for the children’s sake, I am really enjoying that little time. I feel like it clicks our family back into order, and I feel like D is honouring me in my proper place as his wife rather than the cook or cleaner or child rounder upper-er that I often have felt like at the busy time of the day when he gets home. I feel more respected and appreciated by my family. We have so enjoyed having a chance to communicate when D gets home from work. Typically everyone is competing for conversation space when he gets home….I want to talk to him, E5 wants to talk to him, B3 wants to wrestle, R1 wants to cuddle, and of course D himself would just like a moment to breathe after a hard day at work! Taking the time for a 15 minute catch up helps us to connect before the children get their time.

Couch time is working for our family!

And the winners are…

A big thank you to everyone who helped spread the news of my Make a Plan project.

The following names went into the draw:

SweetP – For telling her facebook friends

SweetP – For This Post and This one!

Leanne – For This Post

Jen – For This Post

Mother Me – For This Post

Carrien – For This Post And Please go and see what she’s up to for some orphans in Thailand! She’s an inspiration

Sarah Bean – For This Post

Sarah Bean – For the idea for me to start a Facebook Group

SS – a donation

JK – a donation

PV – a donation

KG – a donation

So, the names went onto little pieces of paper into this little box (that my friend J brought back from India for me),

and two names were drawn at random by my daughter E5.

And here they are:

The first name out says Challenged blog who will receive the set of four CutieBums nappies. (This is slightly ironic, because way back in the day Leanne sent me some hand made nappies in a swap for some home made chocolate sauce!) Leanne, I’ll be emailing you for your postal address.

And the second name out says Jen’s Page, who will receive a baby blanket which is also kinda cool because she has a new baby daughter. Jen, I’ll be in touch.

And a special thank you to Sweet P who not only posted twice, and told her facebook friends, she also auctioned off some hand dyed wool and some hand made (!!) needles in support of the project. This in turn inspired someone else called Fi to do the same. Thanks everyone for your support! You’re very much appreciated. To stay in the know with how it’s all going, check out (or subscribe to) Make a Plan.

The day I stirred the lemon curd

If you ever do a cooking demonstration in front of friends and strangers, and don’t want to feel self conscious and silly bear in mind that you may not want to choose a recipe that requires 10-15 minutes of constant stirring. Yes, well….talk amongst yourselves I said, this bit takes a while.

Stir until mixture thickens

And Still Stirring

Never mind….the cake turned out fine, and the tasting was a great success. Oh, and another tip. Always take a photo of the finished result preferably before it is cut into 25 bite sized pieces.

The recipe I demonstrated was Lemon Curd Krummeltorte, from Sophie Gray’s Destitute Gourmet.

Summery Swapity Swap!

It’s not as if I’m over committing myself really….I mean now I only have FOUR! things outstanding to send out to bloggy friends. But check this out….a Summer Fun Apron Swap. Thanks summery Kate for finding all things summery and getting in on this one.

If you want to join in on the handmade apron swap, click here. You have until the 5th May to join up.

Lucky Me!

Look what I got! I feel so lucky to have received these in a little giveaway run by Jaime at Chirpings of Little Bird. The giveaway post is way back here!

Thank you Jaime. The cards are lovely! And I can’t wait to use them on some lovely handmade gift to someone…. (I still owe a giveaway gift as well as two Pay it Forward gifts! Eeeekk!)

Aprony apron

Now that it’s no longer necessary to keep it a secret, here’s what I made for Mother Me for the Pay it Forward that we played.

I bought enough material for two, so one of these days I’m going to make another one. Probably for me.

And the Baby turned 1

How did this happen so fast?

Here’s my sweet little one on his birthday.

We had some friends over for coffee and to help us eat cake. I didn’t want to do a party this time around because I usually give myself a headache with all the work. But I really did want to do something to celebrate his day. It’s a family tradition that each of our children have had a Jack-In-The-Box cake for their first birthday, and when you make cake it’s much more fun to share it with someone. So we invited three couples around with their children, so the non-party turned out quite like a party with all up 8 adults and 12 children.

  

We had a great day! The kids all played nicely without incident or too much mess, and adults chatted and relaxed until mid afternoon. Our good friends B & M lingered late into the afternoon after their daughter went to play with one of the other families as they left. The birthday boy had a sleep in the afternoon while we chatted.