Mint Jelly

Christmas is coming and in an attempt to make it a little more special and hopefully a little less spendy, I am trying to plan ahead with some hand made gifts. I am feeling terribly organised to already have even thought of Christmas presents because I am usually a very last minute girl and this usually means expensive!

Anyway…being so proud of myself is one thing…saving money and having fun and giving a personal gift is another so check this out!

I made Mint Jelly! All by my own self. Sorry to anyone who ends up receiving one of these gifts because it will now not be a surprise.

It was so easy and affordable considering I have mint overtaking our front flower bed thingy. And fun too. We’ll have to taste test one jar to make sure it’s edible and all, but looks great to me! (Just hope it sets)

Check this amazing design feature

Am I the last person on earth to know that a baby can find the breast all by itself? Or is it a little known fact. How far has modern birth practise come from the natural and brilliantly designed way? I remember when I had my first and second children, there was such a rush for the midwifes and doctors to check them (they were pink and breathing and crying so i have no idea why the hurry for a medical examination!?) that by the time I got to really hold and bond with them they were fully dressed and swaddled tightly in a blanket. I didn’t get to marvel at their perfect little bodies until the next day.

For this my fourth baby I am determined to do things on my terms. I want to hold my baby until we are ready for him to be dressed. Nothing is warmer than skin on skin anyway, so why the rush?? I want to feed my baby when and for as long as I want to. And not celebrating the first feed with my newborn while having my nether regions stitched up by a midwife in a hurry to get on with her day.

I will let nature expel the placenta when my body is ready and will not have the cord pulled on so that it feels like my insides are going to come out. Flip….why does medicine make birth so flipping complicated! No wonder people are nervous about birth!

I have so much more to say on this subject. I’ll probably be back.

New Midwife!

I have a lovely new midwife. I met her yesterday and I am so relieved. She is quite happy to take a hands off approach to the birth if all is well. Sigh…an issue resolved. Looking forward to a lovely home birth of this little boy. I feel so lucky.

On Birth

WARNING: I tried, but couldn’t cut a long story short. This is the long version. Also be aware that I am whinging and grumbling about somewhat insignificant things in the grand scheme of things and that while I usually try not to sweat the small stuff, right now I am a pregnant woman! Don’t mess with me!

Just returned from a midwife appointment this morning and feeling a little unsettled about how things are going. But first a bit of background.

Here in NZ expectant mothers choose a Lead Maternity Carer who takes care of them during the pregnancy, delivers the baby and also provides post-natal care. For the majority of women, a midwife takes the role of the LMC. There are a few GP’s who still deliver, but not many. For women with high risk pregnancies, or medical conditions they may choose an obstetrician to be their LMC. (Actually anyone can if you’re willing to pay for it….the government only pays for an Ob. if you need one.) All maternity care in the public system in NZ is free, including all the pre- and post-natal care, the delivery, and hospital stay.

Anyway….so I have a new midwife this time around. I was pretty happy with the midwife who delivered R2, but felt like she was a hospital midwife who delivered at home sometimes, and there were some aspects that felt rushed, and not as relaxed as I’d have liked. Maybe I’m being a bit picky, but this time I thought I would choose a midwife who prefers home birth deliveries, and has a home birth philosophy.

On the recommendation of a good friend, I phoned the lady who had delivered her last two children at home. I remember her saying “You’d like Debbie, when she came to our births, you hardly knew she was there” and that’s just what I wanted. Someone who was there in case we needed help, but not interfering or making a fuss. Unfortunatlely when I phoned I found out that the lovely Debbie is away overseas until mid January when I’m due, so I made an appointment with another midwife at the same practice.

To protect her identity, (because I’m about to have a rant about her hehehe) let’s call her A. I’ve seen her three times now. Once at 9 weeks pregnant, once at 15 weeks and now today at 21 weeks. At the very first appointment I raised with her that I had some questions surrounding the due date because an early scan caused some confusion and there seemed to be a discrepancy. I know that the best time to date a pregnancy is early so I raised it then in case she wanted to get another dating scan done to be sure. But, she told me that we should go by my dates (which were not certain but pretty sure as my cycles are regular) and that she didn’t place much too much credit on ultrasound scans. That was fine with me because I was sure they’d made a mistake. (It was impossible that first scan should say 5 weeks and second scan 18 days later showed 6weeks 4 days….the baby was/is fine, so one of the scans was clearly not accurate. I reckon it was the second one (which showed a heartbeat) and it was so quick….literally on the table for about 30 seconds and all round bad service – But that is another story!) We decided on an estimated date of delivery (EDD) of 17/1/10, based on my dates.

Anyway, all was fine and then I saw her again at 15 weeks and the first thing she said to be was “Now, I have received an ultrasound report for you and I have some concern about your due date.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing after that was the exact issue we had discussed at our previous appointment and she said she wasn’t too concerned about scans! So we went over my dates again and she decided to go with the scan EDD which was quite a bit later at 28/1/10. (11 days from the other EDD) I didn’t really believe it was accurate, but I kinda went along, not wanting to be a trouble maker. I came home feeling frustrated because I felt like she hadn’t listened to me the first time, as well as being double minded about her own practice and which method of dating she had most confidence in.

So we had the anatomy scan last week and all is well so far which is something I am truly grateful for. Anyway….the sonographers measurements put me at 20 weeks and 4 days at the time of the scan (with a margin for error of 1week either way), which is exactly where I date the pregnancy and gives me the original due date of 17/1/10. So today at the appointment we go over the whole thing AGAIN! I tried to point out that it would be impossible for the second early scan to be correct because it would mean that I had a positive pregnancy test at 7 days after conception. Anyway…I told her I was more convinced of the earlier EDD and would prefer to go with that and I explained why. She got confused about whether we were counting from conception or last menstrual period and in the end asked me if I was a mathematician! I said no, but I wasn’t happy with an 11 day discrepancy in due dates as this could have ramifications if I am very overdue or if baby comes early and they don’t want me to birth at home. The atmosphere was slightly uncomfortable but I told her I was frustrated that there was this ongoing issue because I felt like she hadn’t listened to my concerns way back when I was 9 weeks pregnant, when we could have resolved it. She apologised and we moved on deciding to settle on the earlier date and to keep the second one in mind.

There are a few other minor concerns that added to this one make me uncomfortable with the idea of her attending the birth. I don’t feel like we have a good rapport, that she’s a bit scatterbrained and forgets stuff. (What if she forgets our discussion about not breaking my waters, or other interventions? I really won’t feel like discussing it again on the big day!) She hasn’t even listened to the fetal heart yet. It doesn’t bother me too much because I can feel baby moving around all the time and the scan last week showed a perfect little four chambered heart etc. but still….it makes me unsure of how confident she is at assessing a fetal heart beat?

So, it’s been bugging me for a while that I just don’t have confidence in this lady and this morning in the shower I gave myself and ultimatum…..if it doesn’t go well today then I’ll try to find another midwife. So… now I’m pretty sure I’ll have to try to find another one. It’s not going to be easy this far along….most midwives are booked up very quickly and people usually book a midwife as soon as you find out you’re pregnant. I will probably go back to try the lady who delivered R2 and hope she’ll have me.

But actually. I really don’t want anyone to do anything. I just want to be left alone and get on with it. Part of me wishes it was like the old days when the midwife was and aunty or sister or mother who had some experience. Not because I don’t value professional care, but because I want someone who know’s me and won’t try to speed things up just so they can get to their appointments on time. I would be quite happy for a midwife to come and just sit drinking tea in another room, check the fetal heart from time to time if I wanted it, and who could step in to help in case of trouble. I wonder if I’ll find anyone who agrees with me? I’m vaguely tempted to have an unassisted birth…????

OK. I’m done. Rant over. Now hubby won’t have to listen to it again I feel better now.

Thoughts on having our fourth baby

In no particular order:

• Four children really does seem a lot more than three.
• I am enjoying that E6 and B4 are old enough to understand and get excited this time. E6 talks to me about the pregnancy every single day and is so excited.
• Morning sickness sucks.
• So does a ferocious appetite and that I am gaining weight so early and so fast.
• I’m only 13 weeks but it’s starting to become quite obvious that I am either pregnant or getting really really fat. I fear the tummy is a sign of both simultaneously.
• How are we all going to fit in this house?
• Boy? Girl? Boy? Girl? Find out at the scan or have another surprise?
• Girls names. Boys names. Thinking, thinking. E6 has a really long list already. (Includes her favourite book characters like Mr and Mrs Large – Bwahahahahahahahahhhah)
• Doh. I gave away our baby blankets last year.
• Planning another home birth. Hoping it will be a tad easier than R2’s birth which was safely at home but really really hard.I posted the story here.
• Just so you know, I am around 13 weeks and due in mid January 2010.
• Having had three pregnancies (not counting two early miscarriages) before, I kinda know a bit of what to expect. I don’t find pregnancy particularly pleasant but considering there is a good chance this will be my last pregnancy I am trying to enjoy it. In saying that though, I am so impatient to get the unpleasantness over with and very keen to get to the end and hold my baby in my arms. I don’t even mind labour particularly.
• Can’t wait to feel those little kicks. (not so keen on the powerful jolts in the cervix that take my breath away or the relentless digs in the ribs, but nevertheless, gotta love life bursting inside of you!)
• Didn’t have the nuchal translucency scan but did have an early scan because of some doubt about dates. Saw a wee little heart beat around 6 weeks. Very keen to hear baby’s heartbeat for the first time at my next appointment in a few weeks. I find it so reasuring that all is well. Even though I am past the high risk for miscarriage dates, I still worry about worst case scenarios from time to time. Silly me. Worrying is pointless.
• And just for fun I’ve added a poll to the side bar. What do you think? Should we find out baby’s gender? We have had a surprise for the other three which I really enjoyed. It always makes me laugh to hear everyone’s opinion about whether it’s a boy or a girl based on the size or shape of my stomach. Hahaha. What are you reasons for finding out the gender? Or keeping it a surprise? Comments please

I’m becoming one of ‘them’

Not that long ago, I used to think people who were ‘green‘ were a bit odd. I just thought it wasn’t a big deal and wondered why people went to such trouble over little things. I used to think natural body products were inferior and that if I used them I’d have b.o. and end up with hairy legs and no make up and frizzy hair and maybe even braless…eeek perish the thought! If someone had told me they used cloth sanitary products I’d have thought they’d really gone too far. Home birth was rather earthy too, and home schooling for weird religious fanatics.

EeekkkK! Something has happened to me and I’m becoming one of them! And it’s happening rather quickly. In the last 3 years I have…

• Stopped using disposable nappies and wipes. Now I use cloth nappies (exclusively) as well as cloth wipes. I can’t remember the last time I bought them. Our rubbish has reduced considerably it has saved us money, and it feels much better knowing I’m not using an item once and throwing it away. Our rubbish bin used to fill up so quickly. And it stank. Yes, you have to wash them but it’s not hard to use a washing machine. My poor ol’ Nanna had 6 children and for at least the first 4 would have washed everything by hand. I started making my children’s cloth nappies a couple of years ago and also started selling them in a little business.

• Stopped buying cleaning products such as window cleaner, floor cleaner, surface cleaner, shower and bathroom products. I now use Enjo cleaning cloths…microfibre fibres that clean really easily and thoroughly just using water. I’d never have believed this was hygienic enough but now I am convinced. I’m not a clean freak, but I think even a clean freak would be impressed with these. It’s not cheap initially although is offset by not having to purchase consumable chemicals ongoingly and there are cheaper brands (haven’t tried them) but it has made me realise once again that just because there are products available, it doesn’t mean you have to use them. The cleaning isle at the supermarket has every specific product available and so we think we need them. I like to ask myself what our grandmothers would have done and many so called old fashioned methods work just fine, and are cheap or free, healthier in our homes and better for the environment.

• Stopped buying disposable sanitary products. Initially I started using cloth pads. These are so much better than they sound….thinner than you’d expect, way more comfortable than disposable ones and not at all hard to clean or care for. They’re not ugly raggy things….they come in colours and prints or you can make your own. There are many designs available i.e. with or without wings, with an attached waterproof layer or a snap in one etc etc. Additionally, in the last 5 months I’ve started using a Mooncup. This is a reusable menstrual cup. To save me getting all personal on the internet, go and have a read about it at the Mooncup website. They take a bit of getting used to but is a one off cost of around $55-60. They should last for several years. You’ll have saved it’s cost in disposable products within 4-5 months depending on what you normally buy. They are healthier than tampons, having never been associated with Toxic Shock Syndrome. Again, no landfill and I love walking past that aisle in the supermarket.

• Stopped buying disposable breast pads when breastfeeding. I used one packet that were given to me as a gift when I had my last child. Reusable Cloth pads work just as well, can be washed in the shower or chucked in the washing machine with anything else. Again…saves money and land fill and none of that gel stuff near our bodies. My boy is weaned now so I gave them away to a friend.
  

• Stopped using commercial shampoo and soap. I have started using natural shampoo bars. These are made from all vegetable oils with added essential oils. They clean the hair just as well as shampoo, are cheaper and have no chemicals going down the drain or affecting our skin. My hair is very thick and curly, and I’ve been quite happy with how the shampoo bar is leaving it. It’s slightly less manageable when wet without conditioner, but once dry , there is very little difference. There are plenty of home made conditioner recipes on the internet which I will probably try sometime once I get used to the idea of putting egg or mayonnaise or beer on my head. Ha ha ha ha. I’ve been enjoying the shampoo bars and naturals soaps so much I decided to retail them as part of the fund raising for my Zimbabwe project. You can see them and other products as well as read about the project over here at my Make a Plan blog.

• Become a recycler. I used to be rather lazy about this but the new HUGE 240L recycling bins provided by the city council are great. I love that you can chuck every thing in together. I now recycle all tins, paper, glass, and most plastics.

• Started a compost bin. We were given two bins. I don’t actually use the compost because I’m a terrible gardener, but at least our scraps are breaking down nicely on our own property. With the compost and recycling if we forget to put the rubbish bin out it’s not the end of the world, as we can easily last 2 weeks on our little 120L wheelie bin.

So there you have it. I’m a bit green myself, and when i consider that I’ve also had a home birth and am home schooling, I realise I’m becoming stranger by the second!! I still use regular washing powder, dishwasher powder and dishwashing detergent. And I’m just a tad reluctant to do away with commercial deodorants. Can anyone convince me the natural deodorant stones actually work? and do any of them keep you dry like the commercial ones do?

Do you any natural products? What are your favourites?

My Home Birth experience

The birth of little R was a planned home birth. My previous births were straight forward….E’s being a typical slow to progress first delivery and I felt I went to the hospital too soon. To cut a long (22 hours from start to finish) story short, I ended up with internal foetal monitoring, an epidural, IV fluids, and a catheter. Too many bits in me, but a healthy and beautiful little girl. (8lb 12oz – 3980gm) And stitches for me afterwards.
For B’s birth I decided it would be better to stay at home as long as possible to avoid any unnecessary interventions and because I felt more comfortable labouring at home. After about 6 hours of labour, (4 hours manageable, 2 hours getting really sore) I told D that I felt like we’d better go to the hospital. Thinking we still had hours to go, and knowing my wish to stay at home as long as possible, he got the car packed and ready rather slowly. I felt the urge to push after the walk from bedroom to lounge brought on a series of really strong contractions, and I found myself giving small involuntary pushes in the car on the way. D was on the phone to the hospital telling them we were on the way and “She’s pushing!” We were greeted outside by a midwife and a wheelchair and while she took me to the delivery ward D parked the car. Meanwhile I’ve gone up the lift and when getting gout of the chair onto the bed, the midwife is saying “Don’t push, just let me check you”. I couldn’t help it and my waters broke all over the floor. Her examination revealed a head crowning and D walked in right on cue for 2 pushes later head was out, then two further pushes and body was out too. My beautiful strong 10lb 3 oz (4660gm) boy. There had been no time for pain relief although I’d used a TENS machine at home. (Loved it: highly recommend). I did suck on gas for the stitches though.

So…..given the relatively ‘easy’ birth second time round I though a home birth made a lot of sense. The day he was due, my midwife performed a stretch and sweep. I’m still not sure if I’m glad we did this or not. I was fed up with being pregnant, and if I’d gone to 41 weeks I would not have been able to have a home birth. Anyway, it was our decision to do that. Later that day I started having niggly irregular contractions. This went on for sometime and I eventually went to bed, but got up at around 9pm because it was too uncomfortable in bed.

I slowly got the lounge ready with all the stuff. D joined me around 11pm and I think we put the TENS machine on around 1am. Things were progressing nicely and I was able to walk around which helped. I would have periods of lying in bed in between. Around 3:30am we decided to call the midwife who would be about 20 minutes away. She’d wanted to be there about an hour before the baby is born. (Difficult to predict of course so we erred on early) She arrived around 4am and our friend J arrived around 4:30am.

Just after phoning the midwife however, things slowed down quite a bit and I was back to having contractions only 5 minutes apart and not more than 50 seconds long. I walked a bit to get things going and eventually the decision was made to check dilation and while she was at it she broke the waters. (around 5:30am) I remember feeling disappointed and violated because she didn’t tell me she was doing this. This increased the intensity of the labour and I was hopeful that this would get things going. My midwife suggested sitting on the toilet to open the pelvis and I had a few strong contractions there and woke the children with all the hustle and bustle outside their door at around 5:45am.

From then until the birth was very very hard. I was having very painful contractions yet it didn’t feel like we were getting any closer to delivery. I was quite discouraged and a bit scared because I felt something wasn’t quite right. B’s birth had gone so smoothly and quickly, and I’d expected the same. I was getting very tired. Several times I put my head down and said “I’m just going to sleep for a while”. I couldn’t understand why they didn’t believe me. I was convinced at the time it was possible and just what I needed to do to be able to carry on.

They kept telling me to try moving around a bit, but I felt so exhausted that to move my legs seemed nearly impossible. My pelvis felt weird and my legs didn’t want to move. I was getting annoyed with them (the midwife, her colleague and a student) telling me to move when I just couldn’t. I felt like they didn’t understand how hard I was working and how exhausted. In hindsight, I realise they did, and it was just transition talking. Not sure of the time but I started to panic with transition and kept saying to them that I just can’t do it anymore and I’d have to go to hospital and have a caeserean. D just kept on reassuring me and telling me I was doing a good job. I had to look right in his eyes and will myself to believe that he was in a better state to assess the situation than me and trust him. I’m so glad I had him there to trust because I felt quite out of control and scared that something was wrong.

Eventually I was given some IV fluids as I was dehydrating and quite exhausted. This made a big difference to my state of mind and suddenly I felt myself come out of a daze, become wide awake and a new resolve to carry one. It wasn’t long after that I started the pushing stage which lasted about half an hour I think. Again much harder than I expected and felt like it was never going to end.

Finally R was born, just after 7am. I remember letting out a loud shout when he finally came out. It was surprise, relief and pain. The children got to see him being born. He was strong, pink and beautiful and slippery. I still remember B’s face as he approached me and saw him. I held him against me and we wrapped him up and kept him warm. When it was time to weigh, check and dress him, the children went with him over to the table and watched. I only vaguely remember the delivery of the placenta, but I do remember that the first feed was a bit tainted with pain because the were busy stitching me up. That was horrid.

It turns out he was posterior . This came as a surprise to me as at the previous days appointment he was ROA. (If you read this article, you will see the author explains the type of problems encountered in labour). This explains the difficulties and I think I’d have coped better if I’d known what was going on. I later discussed this with my midwife, as well as the breaking waters thing. She said she thought she’d told me/asked me about the water. It must have been an oversight, and I have no hard feelings. She said they had suspected a posterior presentation when things were taking so long

I do wonder if I had the best possible outcome though. I wonder if they’d waited on breaking waters, if he’d have turned. I wonder if they even knew he was posterior when they did that. I guess we’ll never know.

Anyway, he was safe throughout with a strong steady heartbeat and I knew that. In fact it was a reassurance to know that when I was scared, because I could hear that his heart was going strong and steady despite what I was feeling!

I am still so very glad I had a home birth. The rest of the day was lovely. It was so nice to be in my own home. The children carried on as normal. I got to rest in my own bed. D felt comfortable and in control, and didn’t have to leave us at the end of it.

In the days that followed, I remember feeling particularly euphoric. I was so happy to have delivered him at home. So happy to have had my family around me. The children were enjoying him. I was so glad not to be pregnant anymore! Having him at home was so much better than being in hospital. It meant a smoother adjustment for all of us particularly the children, and they fell in love with him straight away. So did we.

Edited to add: He was 9lb 11oz – 4400gm.