A journey of 14 472 kilometers starts with a freaking early morning

What the heck? What happened to March? Ah well.. you should take what you get around here. Okay? Anyway…

My husband is away. He left in the early hours of this morning. In fact it was well and truly BEFORE the infamous sparrows fart. I took him to the airport. Did I mention that it was in the middle of the freaking night? Yes, well it was. And we took the two little kids with us because they woke up and I didn’t want them to hear the car drive away and cry and wonder where we were and why we’d left them in the middle of the night. As for the older children we just hoped they wouldn’t wake up and burn the house down while we were gone.

It never ceases to amaze me how having children can completely undo one’s expectations. I imagined a quiet private drive to the airport, and long warm hugs on the pavement.

Instead? Vomit, curdled acidic milk clumped around seat belt clasp. Nice. So a quick wave to hubby as he embarked on his long long journey. I peeled the spewed on clothes off the boy, grabbed a clean t-shirt out of the back of the car (miraculous really)and when I looked up, hubby was on his way.

It’s hard to believe that all these hours later he is still sitting on a plane somewhere over the Indian Ocean. And sheesh. The things that have happened this day.

Getting up early was just the start of it! Actually it wasn’t that bad..but why on the day my husband goes away do I get a flat tyre?  Fortunately I do know how to change a tyre. But… today??

And a spider just appeared above the baby’s bed. On the ceiling. OK…so it might fall on him or jump on him in the night so I have to deal with it. Yes..I’m so clever. I was holding the baby, so I grabbed a coat hanger. Yes the perfect spider thingy –  and I reached up to whack it off the ceiling. My cunning plan was that it would land on the carpet and the I would stomp on it. But it didn’t land on the carpet. It landed IN his bed. Right. OK, so must remove spider from bed. Still holding baby, I use the coat hanger again to hit the spider. But I kept missing and he kept bouncing all over the bed. At first I thought he was jumping around, but he wasn’t …it was the whacking doing that.

Anyway, long story short (because I’m really tired and have been up for way too many hours in a row) I can’t find the bloody spider. And I put the kid in the cot anyway because there is no where else to put him. Lucky since we don’t live in Australia it wasn’t a red back or a funnel web. Katipo? No. White tail? Hope not.  Curse you sneaky spider.

I was going to think of a violent threat against said spider should he show his eight-legged self again, but I got distracted dealing with a throw-upping four year old and now I sit beside him until he settles enough to sleep. A long day.


11 thoughts on “A journey of 14 472 kilometers starts with a freaking early morning

  1. For real? Bet hubby isn’t going on any more trips. ;) Got some good visuals of your spider whacking. I would have closed the door, sealed it at the bottom and never re-entered until Bill got home. Might have been a slight issue though when baby needed nappies and clothes etc…But, I hate spiders THAT much that baby could have worn tea towels or something. LOL! Hope all that vomit came out of the car seat. Car seat vomits are the WORST!!!

  2. I can see you, coat hanger in hand and baby on your hip, belting the life out of the mattress. Did the violent activity help with the frustration levels? I suggest feeding said baby baked beans and cabbage before bed so that the resultant fumes asphyxiate said spider who really should know better than to hide in a toddler’s bed! Mind you, can you imagine the spider’s blog: Today I was walking home after seeing the spiderlings off to school in the corner when, out of nowhere, a huge, five-armed creature appeared not three feet from me and began to swipe at me with it’s deformed metallic arm. Now I’ve been living with humans for most of my life but I’ve never seen anything like this! So I took evasive action and dropped into the no-go zone to outsmart the beast and lo and behold, it follows me. And, while I was trying to get away, there was a series of earthquakes that measured 11.9 on the Richter scale. I swear! We need to move somewhere safer. The food here is good, but this is no place to raise children!”
    Love you! Mamma’s rule!

  3. Oh, my! What a way to start off a month of solo-parenting. Well, you have clearly proven you can tackle anything–tire changing, one-handed spider killing, AND car seat puking! There should be a motherhood triathlon with those events.

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