A simple guide to changing a tyre.

Some of you will know that my husband is away for a month.

So he left on Friday and I chronicled that day which started with vomit, and ended with a flat tyre and a rogue spider.

Since then? Well, yesterday….hmm. Yesterday 3 poo incidents in the baby’s bed and one wee incident on the sheets. That’s FOUR linen changes. I really just wanted him to sleep so I could go change the tyre with baby safely out-of-the-way, but no. This did not happen.

Late in the afternoon, I decided it was time to get out of the house so I piled everyone into the smaller, hotter (temperature, not sexy) car that had all tyres in working order and we set off to go to the bank and post office. Just after arriving at the bank, Ben turned white as a sheet and said he felt like throw-upping. I dashed him out the door and positioned him over a rubbish bin while I quickly deposited the cheque in the fast deposit box.

Skipping the post office we sped off home. Ben chundered just as we got home fortunately into a plastic bag.

So. There we were stuck home again with the third of three boys now sick. I was emailing blow-by-blow accounts of our day to D and while typing it, Sam pulled the cord of the lamp in our room..it came crashing down and smashed the bulb. While cleaning that up, the bank called to say they couldn’t cash the cheque without ID so could I please come back tomorrow. Yes…awesome. That whole excursion had been a complete waste of time after all.

The rest of the day went well enough. No major dramas that I can recall.

This morning heralded a bright sunny new day. All the kids feeling better. Full of vigour and vim, I tackled the tyre.

Without further ado, here is my simple guide to changing a tyre:

  1. Apply hand brake and put wheel chocks in place. (An inch thick piece of wood)
  2. Jack up car
  3. Swear a bit about how tight wheel nuts are.
  4. Find out if it’s clockwise or anti-clockwise by posting on Facebook
  5. Finally remove wheel nuts by smacking the crap out of them with a metal mallet.
  6. Remove tyre
  7. Try to fit spare. You’ll see that the car is not high enough but the jack is at its’ highest level.
  8. Swear again and rant about car manufacturer providing a too small jack.
  9. Replace flat tyre, hand tighten wheel nuts.
  10. Lower car.
  11. At this  point a small piece of metal may appear under your car. Piece of car? Piece of jack? Shrug and sheepishly hide it somewhere.
  12. Send 6-year-old to find planks of wood to put under jack. One of them being the wheel chock.
  13. Jack car up again.
  14. Remove flat tyre. Again.
  15. Fit spare tyre.
  16. Lower car. Job done. Sheesh

Two questions:

  1. Why do the wheel guys feel the need to tighten the wheel nuts so tight it would take the hulk on a bad day to get them undone?
  2. Why would a car manufacturer supply a jack with the car that doesn’t go up high enough to change a tyre?

Enough said.

Righto! Everyone in the car…let’s go get milk, visit the library, post the letter, get some fuel, get out in the sun! Baby’s car seat re-installed in van, kids in.

Flat battery.






7 thoughts on “A simple guide to changing a tyre.

  1. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, *braeathe* Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *breathe* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (dry seat) ha ha ha ha ha ha. *breathe* chuckle

    Andrew says do you want him to come change light bulb- might be a good idea to avoid ladders considering your luck Chook! You most definitely are NOT paid enough!!!!

  2. This is crazy – but you do make it sound incredibly funny so thanks for that at least – I have decided I will (hopefully) never have to change a tyre – where has D gone?? May the next few weeks be a little kinder to you!!

  3. This post cranked me up. Thank you. Answer to Q1 – Because the guys are afraid somewhere deep down that at any moment the wheels could fall off. Answer to Q2 – because the dealer blamed it on the manufacturer and clearly neither of them were upward thinkers.

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