Counting in Days

I’ve been awake since before 5am, and got up at 5:30am because I couldn’t go back to sleep. For some,  this is a perfectly normal and acceptable time to start the day but for me it’s considered the middle of the night.

With so much going on at the moment, if I wake, my mind starts going over all the things that need to be done and there is only one thing for it, and that is to get up and make lists. Today list involved allocating last minute tasks to each of the 9 days remaining. That’s when we fly to Australia.

It’s a surreal kind of feeling wrapping up more than a decade of life here and starting over. For my husband and kids is a brand new life. For me, it’s a little different. It’s going back, going home. Revisiting. I still feel in a kind of limbo. I don’t feel like I really belong in either place. 12 years is a long time. I don’t really know what to expect.

These last days are busy with packing boxes and suitcases, and all the little administrative tasks that comes with leaving the country. I’m trying to savour precious memories and enjoy the little things I love about life here. And all that without becoming emotionally unstable. One thing I have learned is that I can’t get things done when I’m emotional. I have so much to do I simply don’t have time to be sad.

We have a probably deal on our house which has come at the perfect time. We’re still in the uncertain days before it becomes unconditional which I am trying not to think about too much. And among the chaos of packing, I’m trying to remember and capture the little everyday things which will become precious memories of life here.

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